The fear of the self

Stricken in grief am I
A dark dense revelation dawns upon me
When I met Jekyll the demon within me
Great was his dark power
Great was his might
Great was his intellect
Great was his wrath
Great was his strength
That my soul was thus wounded
My mind was dismayed
My heart feared
My soul tormented
My hands inflicting pain upon my body
My body rolling in the dirt
Lustful thoughts overwhelmed me
Deceitful pursuits overcame me
Loneliness was never far away
Tears flowed freely
Pain took hold of me
Iniquity beset me
The Almighty was so far away
Jekyll was luring me
To a place where I could never abide
But such was his call
Full of confidence and majesty
Full of vain glory
Full of desire
Full of death
I cried unto the Lord to deliver me
But he was never with me
He abandoned me and left me to his mercy
I cried to Jekyll
I pleaded before his ruthless presence
He looked with scorn and majesty
I sank to the ground
And called out to the Lord
But he never came
He let me fall
I tore my hair in desperation
I beat my chest with anger
I loathed myself
O what a being am I that the almighty should abandon me
O I am the most disgusting, vile thing to ever thread upon the face of the earth
I cried and I cried but nobody wiped away my tears
How can I tell anybody my plight?
It is worse than any man ever faced in this world
I fled the presence of Jekyll
But his smirk told me that he would return
More violently than ever
My heart is now dismayed
My fear is great
My hope is lost
Nobody will deliver me
Not even the loving God
For he loves only those who live pure
Not those who harbor Jekyll
I do not harbor Jekyll
He is my foe
A foul fiend
But yet he is within me
Ever tormenting me with grief
He crushes my hope everyday
He manipulates my life
He has gained ground
Jekyll is indeed mighty
He is indeed the destroyer of my soul
He is indeed armed to the teeth
With a sword made of diamonds
And with the power of an ox
And here am I
With a tin shield
And a penknife
How can I withstand this mighty foe
He strikes my shield
And is ready to pierce my heart
I surrender Jekyll
I have nothing left
Spare me I cry
He only smirks and tells me
"I do not seek to kill you I only seek to put the Lord to shame"
And you were sore defeated
And this is my victory against the almighty
I hung my head in shame
And fell down and could never rise up
Will I ever rise up again
Oh I put my God to shame
Woe is me, may my days be filled with curses
May my life rot and waste away
May I never have an inheritance
May Hell me my home forever
O But such is the love of the father
That he would never let me go
Such is the love of the son
That he will destroy Jekyll forever
Such is the Holy Spirit
That she will be my guide forever
Such is the depth of the love of my sweet Lord
That he will never let the shame overwhelm me
All the shame that I have
Is nailed to the cross of my Lord
And he bore it and overcame it
Now I say to you mighty Jekyll
"Bring on thy furious wrath, you may win a battle but my Lord has won the war"
You are defeated forever
When mine eyes shall behold that day, I will mock you to scorn
And I will triumph over your foul carcass
For it is not my victory but the victory of the Son of God
And he has chosen me to be his forever
What can separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus?
Not even your vile O Jekyll
He spared not his only son on the cross
How much is his love
The Son who lovingly died and shed his blood
How much is this love
The spirit who testifies of this love
Is the power of his love
And who can defeat the breath of the almighty?
Who can defeat the power that is generated by the almighty?
Love conquers all
Love is of God
And with this he conquers all and establishes his reign forever.
Amen.